I Am the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Classic 1990 Film: A Candid Conversation.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is rightfully celebrated as an Hollywood heavyweight. But, in the midst of his blockbuster fame in the eighties and nineties, he also starred in several surprisingly great comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its 35-year mark this winter.

The Story and That Line

In the 1990 movie, Schwarzenegger plays a undercover cop who masquerades as a elementary educator to locate a fugitive. Throughout the story, the crime storyline serves as a loose framework for Arnold to have charming interactions with kids. The most unforgettable belongs to a student named Joseph, who spontaneously rises and informs the former bodybuilder, “Boys have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” The Terminator replies icily, “Thanks for the tip.”

The young actor was portrayed by former young actor Miko Hughes. In addition to this part included a character arc on Full House playing the antagonist to the child stars and the character of the youngster who comes back in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. Hughes remains active today, with multiple films in development. He also frequently attends the con circuit. Not long ago recalled his memories from the filming of the classic over three decades on.

A Young Actor's Perspective

Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.

That's impressive, I have no memory from being four. Do you retain any flashes from that time?

Yeah, a little bit. They're flashes. They're like mental photographs.

Do you recall how you got the part in Kindergarten Cop?

My parents, primarily my mom would bring me to auditions. Sometimes it was a mass tryout. There'd be a room full of young actors and we'd all just have to wait, be seen, be in there briefly, deliver a quick line they wanted and that's all. My parents would help me learn the words and then, as soon as I could read, that was the initial content I was reading.

Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?

He was very kind. He was playful. He was nice, which I suppose isn't too surprising. It would have been odd if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom, that likely wouldn't create a good work environment. He was fun to be around.

“It would be strange if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom.”

I knew he was a huge celebrity because that's what my parents told me, but I had never really seen his movies. I felt the importance — it was exciting — but he didn't frighten me. He was merely entertaining and I only wanted to hang out with him when he wasn't busy. He was busy, obviously, but he'd occasionally joke around here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd flex and we'd be holding on. He was exceptionally kind. He bought every kid in the classroom a yellow cassette player, which at the time was like an iPhone. This was the coolest device, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I used to rock out to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for years on that thing on that thing. It finally gave out. I also was given a genuine metal whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all got a whistle as well.

Do you remember your experience as being fun?

You know, it's amusing, that movie was this cultural thing. It was a major production, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, looking back now, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, working with [director] Ivan Reitman, visiting Astoria, the production design, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. Like, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the toppings only. Then, the first-generation Game Boy was just released. That was the big craze, and I was proficient. I was the smallest kid and some of the other children would ask for my help to get past hard parts on games because I knew how, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all little kid memories.

The Line

OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember how it happened? Did you know what you were saying?

At the time, I probably didn't know what the word shocking meant, but I understood it was edgy and it made adults laugh. I was aware it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given approval in this case because it was humorous.

“My mom thought hard about it.”

How it originated, according to family lore, was they didn't have specific roles. Certain bits of dialogue were written into the script, but once they had the kids together, it wasn't necessarily improv, but they refined it on set and, reportedly it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "We have an idea. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "Give me a moment, I need time" and took a day or two. She deliberated carefully. She said she was hesitant, but she felt it will probably be one of the most memorable lines from the movie and history proved her correct.