These Advice given by A Father That Rescued Us when I became a Brand-New Parent

"I believe I was just trying to survive for the first year."

One-time Made In Chelsea star Ryan Libbey thought he would to cope with the demands of fatherhood.

But the actual experience quickly turned out to be "very different" to his expectations.

Life-threatening health problems around the birth caused his partner Louise hospitalised. Abruptly he was pushed into becoming her primary caregiver as well as looking after their baby boy Leo.

"I took on each nighttime feed, every nappy change… every walk. The job of both parents," Ryan shared.

Following 11 months he reached burnout. That was when a talk with his own dad, on a park bench, that helped him see he needed help.

The simple statement "You aren't in a good place. You need some help. How can I assist you?" paved the way for Ryan to express himself truthfully, look for assistance and regain his footing.

His story is not uncommon, but rarely discussed. Although society is now more accustomed to addressing the stress on mums and about PND, far less attention is paid about the challenges dads face.

'It's not weak to ask for help

Ryan feels his challenges are symptomatic of a wider inability to talk amongst men, who still internalise harmful ideas of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the fortress that just gets hit and doesn't fall time and again."

"It's not a sign of being weak to seek help. I failed to do that fast enough," he adds.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist who studies mental health pre and post childbirth, notes men often don't want to accept they're finding things difficult.

They can believe they are "not justified to be seeking help" - especially in front of a new mother and infant - but she stresses their mental health is vitally important to the household.

Ryan's conversation with his dad provided him with the opportunity to take a break - spending a short trip overseas, separate from the family home, to get a fresh outlook.

He came to see he needed to make a adjustment to pay attention to his and his partner's emotional states alongside the logistical chores of taking care of a infant.

When he shared with Louise, he realised he'd missed "what she needed" -physical connection and listening to her.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has changed how Ryan views fatherhood.

He's now composing Leo regular notes about his journey as a dad, which he aspires his son will see as he grows up.

Ryan thinks these will enable his son to better grasp the expression of emotion and understand his approach to fatherhood.

The idea of "reparenting" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four.

During his childhood Stephen lacked reliable male parenting. Despite having an "amazing" bond with his dad, profound emotional pain resulted in his father struggled to cope and was "in and out" of his life, affecting their bond.

Stephen says repressing feelings resulted in him make "poor actions" when younger to change how he felt, finding solace in alcohol and substances as escapism from the hurt.

"You find your way to behaviours that aren't helpful," he explains. "They can briefly alter how you feel, but they will in the end make things worse."

Tips for Managing as a New Father

• Talk to someone - if you feel under pressure, confide in a trusted person, your spouse or a therapist about your state of mind. Doing so may to reduce the stress and make you feel less isolated.
• Remember your hobbies - make time for the activities that made you feel like yourself before having a baby. This might be going for a run, seeing friends or gaming.
• Pay attention to the physical stuff - nutritious food, staying active and when you can, sleep, all play a role in how your emotional health is doing.
• Meet other first-time fathers - hearing about their stories, the messy ones, as well as the joys, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Understand that seeking help does not mean you've failed - looking after your own well-being is the best way you can care for your household.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen expectedly struggled to accept the loss, having had no contact with him for a long time.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's resolved not to "repeat the pattern" with his child and instead give the security and nurturing he did not receive.

When his son threatens to have a meltdown, for example, they do "releasing the emotion" together - managing the emotions in a healthy way.

Each of Ryan and Stephen say they have become improved and more well-rounded men since they confronted their struggles, changed how they express themselves, and figured out how to control themselves for their kids.

"I am now more capable of… dealing with things and dealing with things," explains Stephen.

"I put that down in a note to Leo recently," Ryan says. "I said, sometimes I believe my purpose is to guide and direct you on life, but the truth is, it's a exchange. I'm learning just as much as you are on this path."